• Carey Tedesco

Evan's Playdate

Different, not less (and super sweet!)



Autism is pretty hard to explain to people. Evan being a-typical on the autism spectrum is even harder. The way I often describe Evan is that he presents almost like ADHD. He's hyper, adorable and very emotional which is sometimes good and sometimes bad.

We recently had a playdate with one of his friends from school and it went pretty well. I had to prompt him to share his toys a lot and some of the time he didn't like doing that, but managed to do it without getting upset. For most kids, two hours of playing with a friend isn't really a big deal. For Evan I think it feels like four hours of time. Things to Evan seem much more enhanced somehow. How he processes even the smallest amount of information or interaction feels much bigger to him. So at the end of his play date that probably felt like an eternity to Evan I think he wanted everything to slow down or stop. As a result of wanting to gain control of his world he got frustrated at his friend for continuing to play with his train after asking him to stop. That would be when Evan announced he didn't want his friend to come over to our house ever again. I immediately told him that was not okay to say that and asked him to apologize to his friend. He did. I then explained to him that I knew he didn't mean or to hurt his friends feelings and that he was just overwhelmed. His friend was soooo great. He accepted Ev's apology and gave him a hug.

The second after his friend left, Evan fell apart. He sat on my lap and sobbed into my arms. He said he broke his friend's heart. He said he felt sad that he hurt his friend's feelings. I told him it was okay and that I knew he didn't mean what he said. I told him that we all make mistakes and sometimes say things we don't mean, even Mommy! (Mommy makes a shit ton of mistakes, kid.). I'm proud that he had the insight that his actions do affect his friends. I wish I could make things easier for him. I wish that his interactions with others would be simple and not so complicated. But they aren't and sometimes that's really okay. In fact, it's comical how many people know my son and how many people's names my son will remember. And this is all why I love my son. He has a huge sweet streak, he keeps us on our toes, and one thing is for sure, it is never dull when Evan is near. I love you, Evie!

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